When Youíre Right... Youíre Wrong...
Or Don't Fight It Deal With It.

Ever see the movie "Catch 22"?  Sometimes life can be like the movie.  Sort of a dammed if you do dammed if you don't.  I recently got slammed by such a situation in a NetWorking Group that I used to belong to.

Used to?  Yes, I got thrown out.  Why?  Because I made money from an event.  Now I'm not going to get into the details of it.  I'm not going to say I was wrong, and they were right.  I also will not say that I was right and they were wrong.  Why?  Because it does not matter.  In this case even if I got everyone in the world to agree that I was right, the people that wanted me out, I still would be out.

The reality is, it's not what I did in the eyes of the world, it's what I did in the eyes of the people in the position to do me harm.  As long as they believe I was wrong, then I was wrong.  Period, end of conversation. I was wrong.

It's not what you did or did not do, it's what people believe about you and feel about you that counts.  When something like this happens you have only one choice.

DEAL WITH IT!

I could fight.  Yell and scream that I did no wrong.  Muster others in the group to back me.  Or even try to show that if I did do something wrong, I was not the only one to blame etc....  Now this is one way to deal with it.  It is also a bad way to deal with it.  It would only result in a lot of negativity for everybody.  And NetWorking is about positive things. 

It's like I said.  It's not what I did.  It's what people believe, and their feeling about it.  A personís feelings are never wrong.  There just feelings.  Feelings just are.  Logic and reason, right and wrong don't necessarily have anything to do with "feelings". That is why feelings must be dealt with.

So, what is the best way to deal with it?  Head on.  If people are going to hear this or that about you, make sure youíre the one that they hear it from.  I knew I was going to be tossed out.  I knew that it did not matter what I did or did not do.  I was out and that was that.  So, I made sure to talk to the people in the room that know me.  I made sure they heard it from me.  I told everyone that I was being thrown out for making money on an event (yes, I did make money), and that the "powers that be" are very upset over it, so I was out.  Everyone I talked to had no problem with me.  And I did not have to worry about the rumors they may hear, and the damage it could have done to me.

In short, be straight with people.  Don't try to hide anything.  In fact if you think about it, those are some of the basic rules of NetWorking.

Now if youíre really a screw up or an unethical person, then nothing is going to save you.

So, what about the people that were responsible for tossing me out?  I hope that after some time we can get back to being friends.  They did what they thought was right.  They are what I would call "good" people.  Sometimes it's not right or wrong, black or white.  It just "is".  Both sides can have their rights and their wrongs, but when it just "IS".  Don't fight it.  Don't make it worse. Deal with it.


BizNet Magazine Supports:
Because It's The Right Thing To Do.

If You Entered This Page Through a Search Engine Or Any Other Framed Website Click Here To Return To BizNet Online Magazine


Send mail to editor@biznetonline.com with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright © 1997 ~BizNet OnLine Magazine
Last modified: November 08, 2002